Getting What Is Rightfully Yours

Managing Child Custody And Visitation When Tension Is High

16 August 2019

Estelle Mathieu

When a couple is going through a divorce and there are children involved, custody is established and a visitation schedule put into place. If both parents are an active part of the lives of the children, this generally means the children will be spending nearly equal amounts of time with both parents. When there is tension between the couple, or when one party is difficult to deal with, there are a number of ways to make parenting the children easier. As time goes on, tension can still remain. If you focus on the needs of the children and don't engage in meaningless arguments, it is possible to maintain your sanity while dealing with a difficult former spouse.

Stick to the Agreed Upon Schedule

It can be difficult to stick to a schedule when surprise events come up and you want your children to be involved. While you can always ask your ex for an exception, a difficult person is unlikely to agree to any changes to the schedule no matter what. Take the negotiating out of your parenting relationship and stick to the schedule that is already set. Your children may miss a family party, but this happens on occasion.

Don't Put the Children in the Middle

A child custody attorney will advise you to avoid putting children in the middle of any decision making when it comes to visitation schedules. This means that you don't tell the children about schedule changes or trying to negotiate with the other parent. If your ex has the children call you to say they want to stay longer, this is putting the children in the middle. It is detrimental to the welfare of your children to put them in a position where they are asked to choose one parent over the other.

Follow Your Divorce Decree

If your decree states that each party pays for half of medical bills, pay your half and move on. When the decree outlines a specific holiday schedule, follow it closely. When you stick to your divorce decree, there is less to argue about. If your former spouse is one to argue and bring you back to court frequently, your strength lies in your ability to stick to the divorce decree.

Child custody and parenting with a person who likes arguing is difficult. Follow your agreement, contact a lawyer if there are major difficulties, and don't let your children know what is going on when possible. 

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