Getting What Is Rightfully Yours

Four Things To Do Before Asking Your Spouse For A Divorce

5 June 2017

Estelle Mathieu

If you and your spouse have grown apart and you've already tried everything you can think of to salvage the relationship, then you may have made up your mind to ask for a divorce. But while you might be tempted to ask your spouse for a divorce as soon as possible--to get it over with--this is often a mistake. Asking for a divorce is a huge step. Even though you may assume your spouse sees it coming, they are sure to be hurt and emotional when you finally do bring up this topic. To minimize the conflict and help ensure thing go as smoothly as possible, it's best to take your time. Don't ask for a divorce before you do these four things.

Find a lawyer.

If you ask your spouse for a divorce before you find an attorney to represent you, tensions may grow strong, forcing you to choose an attorney quickly and on a whim. It's important to do your research and find someone who you can interact with easily and who you trust to represent your best interests. Meet with a few attorneys, such as Diane Dramko, Attorney At Law, and have representation formally lined up before you ask your spouse for a divorce.

Get a handle on your financial situation.

Once you ask for a divorce, your spouse may attempt to hide assets or spend money in your joint bank accounts in an attempt to "get back at you" or secure their own financial position. So it's best for you to get your ducks in a row, in a financial sense, before you ask for divorce. Print out physical copies of your bank statements, investment account statements, and other important documents, and keep them in a safe place. You could deliver them to the attorney you've decided to hire. They'll be safe in his or her office.

Sell things you've been meaning to sell.

Do you have a car, a piece of property, or another valuable item that you've been meaning to sell? It's probably best to sell it now, rather than waiting until after you file for divorce. Often, when you first apply for a divorce, the judge will make a statement that prohibits you from selling anything above a certain value until the divorce is finalized. This is for your own protection as well as the protection of your spouse. It prevents you both from maliciously selling assets in an attempt to leave the relationship with more money. However, it can also be an annoyance if there is an item you've been meaning to sell out of necessity rather than malice.

Find somewhere to go.

When you initially ask your spouse for a divorce, you can expect the tension to run high. It will be easier on the both of you if, after you broach the topic, you offer to be the one who finds somewhere else to stay while the divorce is pending. So before you even ask for a divorce, line up a place to stay. You can find a friend who is willing to let you stay in a spare room for a few weeks until you find an apartment for yourself, or if you have the cash to do so, you can line up an apartment right off the bat.

The decision to ask your spouse for a divorce is a big one. Once you've made up your mind to do so, it's important to take a step back, complete the tasks above, and also emotionally prepare yourself for the challenges that are sure to come in the months ahead. They won't be easy, but you can minimize conflict by finding a good lawyer, getting your finances in order, finding a place to stay, and selling non-essentials before you bring up the topic.

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